Bryan Gardiner for Wired:
It’s 13 degrees outside, your ears and fingers are starting to go numb, and once again Rambo can’t seem to find the right spot. That snowless area by the shrub looked promising 10 minutes ago, but now he seems to be following some invisible breadcrumb trail to your neighbor’s lawn. You know he needs to go. Why can’t he simply do his business so you both can return to the House of Cards marathon you started in your temperature-controlled apartment?
I’m not sure it’s possible that Gardiner could have more perfectly captured my feelings when Smokey takes longer than 30 seconds to do his deed(s).[1]
The most interesting bit from his piece:
You may have noticed another odd thing about your dog’s pooping habits: Spinning or abrupt turning before final release. There’s the normal crouch, but it’s frequently followed by a number of directional recalibrations. What’s that all about?
[It] may be that dogs attempt to align themselves with Earth’s magnetic field before pooping.
Finally. It all makes sense: Smokey is walking EMF receptor.
His record for both deeds in one shot, at night, is around 70 seconds. I think it was exceptionally cold that night, which would explain his untypical haste. ↩